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he will not tell you
he loves your body anymore &
you will pull out all your teeth as to
not scrape your knuckles while you
search for self-worth
in the back of your throat you will be
the disappearing act you'd never finished you will be
looking for your own death in the pit of your stomach you will be
emptying yourself whole again &
when there is no part of you left
unsoiled you will
try to find purity in
turning vile
& you will ask them goddamn it, why can't i die already
you have
d r i f t e d
so far &
this is all you've ever been:
the trigger finger that makes
a carcass into martyrdom
(& goddamn it, why can't i die already)
he loves your body anymore &
you will pull out all your teeth as to
not scrape your knuckles while you
search for self-worth
in the back of your throat you will be
the disappearing act you'd never finished you will be
looking for your own death in the pit of your stomach you will be
emptying yourself whole again &
when there is no part of you left
unsoiled you will
try to find purity in
turning vile
& you will ask them goddamn it, why can't i die already
you have
d r i f t e d
so far &
this is all you've ever been:
the trigger finger that makes
a carcass into martyrdom
(& goddamn it, why can't i die already)
hiatus?
i suppose i rushed my announcement of returning to activity here. i don't have the energy for much anymore. i will never delete or abandon this account entirely, as there are some works i am very proud of, some artists i am immensely inspired by, and some friendships i value deeply.
conversely, i am ashamed and embarrassed by some of the work i've shared, some of the conversations and responses i've held and given, and some of the ways i have presented myself on here.
i'm unsure when i'll feel ready to come back.
i have hundreds of feedback notifications and numerous neglected conversation threads and unanswered notes and ignored groups.
stop me if you've heard this one before
& sure
he's alive
he's alive
but it's not
for a lack
of trying
is it a relapse
if you were never fucking trying in the first place
another tag game
tagged by emsoileau (https://www.deviantart.com/emsoileau) !
a) which is your favorite letter?
i can't say i've ever really thought about this much! i'm a fan of e's and i's.
b) when you hear a word, does it have a shape in your mind's eye?
i haven't ever had this happen, though certain words and letters will have a sort of taste for me, if that makes any sense.
c) are you afraid?
always
d) go to google or wherever and find a track listing for the mars volta's album de-loused in the comatorium. don't look at lyrics or anything, just tell me the first song title that jumps out at you.
"Tira Me a las Arañas" ("Throw Me to the Spiders") - that's the first one that
© 2016 - 2024 counting-vertebrae
Comments5
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sorry, i'm late. but i'm here if you ever need me <3